In the meantime, Keith, the only other thing you mention which gives me any ideas is:
keith_leitch wrote:
I have rebooted until my boots are bleeding,
and
When I connect the device, the only response is USB Device Not Recognised.
Now, this is almost certainly a blind alley, since I think you said you'd tried more than one machine, but I build and repair PCs, and there is one item of USB behaviour worth mentioning here.
If the message you are getting is "One of the USB devices connected to this computer has malfunctioned, and Windows does not recognise it", this can occasionally persist across reboots.
What seems to happen is some "garbage" gets stuck in the USB bus, or cached on a motherboard chip, and the only way to clear it is to completely remove the power cord (and battery if it's a laptop), disconnect all USB devices/hubs then discharge the computer completely by holding in the power key for a couple of minutes to discharge capacitors etc, before reconnecting the power.
I know - it sounds bizarre, but I have personal experience of this problem, and solution, on more than one occasion.
Here's a couple of online references, too:
http://www.online-tech-tips.com/compute ... ecognized/
http://www.ntcompatible.com/Desperately ... tml#163308
I've seen this scenario a few times (often, though not always, with a SiS chipset) - and until the machine is fully discharged, plugging in all sorts of perfectly good USB devices can give this message.
As I say, it's almost certainly a red herring in this case, but since it only takes a minute or so to check, I thought I'd mention it anyway.
Other than that, or the ideas for checking the driver installation, I'm happy to check the cable and remote for you - just let me know.
Jim